Planning your wedding? You’re probably walking around in a dreamlike state. You’re probably glowing and blushing and perpetually twirling around in a never-ending shower of rose petals and on-time, returned RSVP cards. You’re probably floating around on a cloud of veil tulle during the day and slumbering peacefully in the loving, helpful, patient arms of your not-at-all annoying fiance at night.

Or…

You’re overwhelmed, underfunded and overextended. You may not be an (ugh) bridezilla, but you’re probably at the frayed end of a short rope. The time for niceties, compromise and understanding is over. You’ve argued with your mom, your fiance isn’t nearly as funny as he used to be, and for a split second, you think you might hate your grandma. If you’re not at this point, you haven’t really started planning yet.

When this point comes, and believe me, it WILL come, you’ll find yourself dreaming of one of two things: setting fire to your pile of wedding magazines, picking up your bag and walking out of the house, never to be seen again, or, eloping.

This is not the worst idea.

There were several times, during the planning of our wedding, when we considered the option. It came down to weighing money already spent vs. nerves left. We had already put deposits down on so many vendors, we practically had no choice but to push forward. Had we seriously thought about it before we started writing checks and signing contracts, things may have ended differently. I suggest you seriously sit down and discuss it. Reasonably. For real. Eloping would have saved us a lot of money and we’d be just as married and not nearly as poor.

There are always feelings to consider when you kick around the idea of eloping, namely, parents and siblings. But, this is ultimately about you and your fiance as a couple. If your families are really dead set on being there, give them a heads up, but don’t let it turn back into a “wedding.”

It’s so easy to forget what this is supposed to be about. It’s not about the cake or the dress or the flowers or any of the endlessly stressful minutiae that goes into throwing a wedding.

It’s about a promise. A truly intimate decision between TWO people. Do you really need more than that?

April and Jeremy’s elopement is the very definition of doing this right.

From Design*Sponge:

“Shortly after April and Jeremy’s engagement, they started to plan a small wedding in Tennessee. Within three months of planning, the wedding had quadrupled in size and budget because of outside pressures. Distressed about the progression of things, April and Jeremy looked at each other and said, “What are we doing?” After discussing how they envisioned marrying each other, they sent out an email with the subject title, “Reclaiming Our Wedding 2010.”

After that, April says there was only one right way — just the two of them. So they flew to Los Angeles, rented a car, spent three days driving up Highway 1 and got married on a Monday in San Francisco. In planning, there were a few elements that were important to them: the flowers, the video (shot by Britt Simmons, to be shared with friends and family) and making sure to keep it simple. If anything stressed them out for over 20 minutes, they decided to just let it go.”

Read the rest of the story on Design*Sponge, watch their wedding video. You will probably find yourself with little bride tears in your eyes. At the end, our wedding was fun and beautiful. But, I’d be lying if I said that this video didn’t make me wish we’d run away to get married, just the two of us and a little cake.

Eloping is an option that really doesn’t get considered enough. April and Jeremy’s video shows that it can be done beautifully with just as much gravitas and importance as a cathedral train down a church aisle. Eloping can be sophisticated. It doesn’t have to be this:

The white trucker hat is how you know she’s a bride.

I’m all for weddings and receptions and bridesmaids and first dances. But, you can’t deny the sheer romanticism of an elopement. All I’m saying is, consider all the different ways you can say, “I do.”  Think about how you want to spend the next several months of your life.

If multiple dress fittings and rehearsals aren’t your scene, moonlight,a ladder and a fast car might be in your future.

Photo:

“I hear eloping is in.” card by 9SPOTMONK