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No money, mo’ problems: Let’s dance
Is this your wedding singer? No? Then you should probably have a deejay. Music — 10%: ceremony musicians, cocktail-hour musicians, reception band/deejay or entertainment, sound/dance floor rental and misc. Everyone is really so happy to see you get married. And, yeah, it’s nice to have dinner and cake. But really, your friends are there to…
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No money, mo’ problems: Your precious flower(s)
Bad news. The topic of today’s post doesn’t make me feel very snarky. Flowers are pretty! Every time I leave a flower shop, I talk about how much I would like to work in one. I’m sorry if my tone is disappointing. If it helps, your hair is looking kind of fucked up today. No…
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No money, mo’ problems: Make it work edition
He told you to use the Piperlime accessory wall thoughtfully, but you didn’t listen. Now, he’s not sure about those shoes. He’s just concerned. Frankly, I am too. That tiara is super fug. Walking down the aisle is probably the closest you’ll ever get to stomping it to the death down a runway. You really…
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No money, mo’ problems: The Receptioning
On our first round of wedding vendor meetings, someone tried to sell us a custom monogrammed spotlight. For f’ing serious? That’s some tacky shit right there. Yeah, I’ll shine that spotlight on my horse-drawn carriage and call it happily ever after. Vendors are going to try to sell you a million dumb, bridezilla-y things. Things…
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For richer or (mostly) poorer
You’re engaged! That’s adorable. Show everyone your ring, make a lot of unnecessary gestures with your left hand, get your friends all curious about who you love enough to ask to be a bridesmaid, start saving your cans. Seriously. You’re about to get poor. If you’re lucky enough to have your parents paying for your…